I had one of those mornings that many of us experience where we just want to crawl into bed to escape all the stresses of life. One of the moments where we feel weak, vulnerable and oh-so whiney. I have had some unexpected issues with my seamstress for my wedding dress that has pretty much thrown me for a loop. Since my last alteration date I have dropped 15 lbs and plan on losing another 5 or so in the next month. I called to tell her about this and ask about the possibility of moving my next date with her to later in the month so that my dress fit properly! Instead she told me that I “will not lose anymore weight this month” and that I need to drop everything and come in the next day to see her. It is an hour and fifteen minute drive to get there! To say the least I am looking for a last minute seamstress to see if they can help me out with my situation since my wedding is on July 6. For some it may not seem like a big deal, but for me it is. Being overweight my whole life and going from a size 16 to size 6 is something I am very proud of. I have worked SO hard to get where I am today and I want to feel my best on the day I get to walk down the isle to marry my best friend and the love of my life. So for me, this is a very big deal. It has been the ONLY big stress I have experienced during this whole wedding planning process.
I drove to the gym this morning and sat in my car for about 15 minutes. Put my hood on, popped in my ear buds and took time to breathe. It is times like this where it is far too easy to back down, go half-assed and think “oh woe is me.” It is times like THIS that I know I need to bite the bullet, suck it up, think about what I have dreamed about for ages and just EFFING do it. Blare my favourite rock music in my ears, breathe and work my BUTT off. I know I want this more than anything so why let this silly situation block my mental motivation to do what needs to be done.
This is the first time I have had to change my old behaviour of running my anger and frustration off, to sticking to my original fitness plan of interval work and weights. May not sound like a huge switch to some, but for me it is. It does take some getting used to for sure, I miss the sights I would see on my anger fuelled runs, the wind in my ponytail and the sweat dripping down my neck. But I love the gym just as much. Seeing the strength mentally and physically I am gaining through doing this FOR ME is undeniably empowering.
This is how I manage times of feeling unmotivated due to varying emotions. I take myself aside, give myself a mental pep talk, pump myself up for what things I want, remind myself of the things I love about myself, count my blessings and move on. It isn’t easy and it is definitely not a quick process. In the end it always pulls me out of a rut. Why should one silly situation dictate whether or not your goals and dreams have to wait? We are human beings! We are tougher than that!
This shows me how far I have come and how much I have matured. I used to throw in the towel when life got to tough and sulk in the stresses of life. Not any longer. I have dreams I am GOING to achieve and life is not stopping me. I am doing something for ME for once and not giving a POOP what people have to think or say about it.